where am i from again
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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