Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
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Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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