in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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