I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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