The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize