Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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