Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Someone signed my nipple.
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