For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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