I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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