Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize