oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize