Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize