sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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