i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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