Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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