This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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