So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
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I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
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My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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