he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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