i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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