Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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