I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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