Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You are the jesus of drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize