Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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