i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize