i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
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i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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