I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize