i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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