drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
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If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
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I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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