Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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