dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
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i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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