I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize