I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I didn't notice because vodka
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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