READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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