I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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