i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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