apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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