ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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