Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize