I bet he comes in French.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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