just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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