How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize