You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize