OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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