Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize