its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
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Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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