There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
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There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
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You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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