I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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