Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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