YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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