what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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